


High Hopes Low Cookies

by Goldstone_Wolf



Series: High Hopes Low (Blank) [9]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), High Hopes Low Rolls (Web Series)
Genre: But Not For Whatever Smutty Reason You Might Be Thinking, Cheese, Cookies, Fluff, Food mentions, Knives, Like Buddy You're Acting Pretty Gay Over There, M/M, Malark Calls Them 'Companions', Malark and Paddy Should Not Be Allowed In the Kitchen, Mild Blood, Suburbs & SUVs replaces D&D, dating but not dating, friendly teasing, like seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:16:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldstone_Wolf/pseuds/Goldstone_Wolf
Summary: Malark and Paddy attempt to be normal college students by making cookies for their group for when they play the greatest role-playing game to ever exist, Suburbs & SUVs. To say it doesn’t go as planned is only the start of it.
Relationships: Malark Dundragon/Paddock "Paddy" Whitlaw
Series: High Hopes Low (Blank) [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692196
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9





	High Hopes Low Cookies

**Author's Note:**

> Because I don’t remember posting anything HHLR yesterday, you’re getting two fics today. The Master Fic will be begun by next week. The Master Fic, for those of you who don’t know, is where all of these one-shots and several bonus fics will be. The bonus ones will only be available in the Master Fic, to make it worth your time. Also, High Hopes’ S&S characters (the game comes from a tumblr post I saw somewhere but I can’t find anywhere but my phone) are their actual actors, but I probably won’t be dropping any names as the fic focuses on why Malark and Paddy should not be allowed in the kitchen.  
> Now, into the fra—kitchen! Yes, the frakitchen!

“Ma _lark!_ This isn’t funny!”

Malark calmly held the flour above his head, smiling beneath his mask as Paddy jumped to try and reach his fingers. Currently, the assassin was perched atop the massive wooden wardrobe they had retrofitted into a pantry. “On the contrary, it’s very entertaining for me. You look so cute like this.”

He could have sworn Paddy blushed under the makeup.

Still, the wood elf wasn’t using his magic for some reason. “Malark, _please_ come down. We’re going to be late.”

With a sigh, Malark dropped the flour and jumped to the floor. He caught the bag easily, because Paddy had let it slip like he knew it would. “Alright, then, badger,” he jokingly tapped Paddy’s nose, walking over to the counter and setting the bag down, “what do we need to do?”

“I’m not a badger!” Paddy’s ears were tinged pink. “And you need to get the butter.”

As they worked on making the dough—Paddy insisted on the magic-less approach—Malark could have been more mature. He kept duckig around and stealing ingredients or sneaking kisses. “Come on, Paddy, you know you don’t mind. Didn’t you say you _liked_ surprise kisses?”

He was banished from the kitchen to sit on the barstools.

Pouting, he contented himself with watching his… _companion_ as he baked. Totally normal companion things. Just like holding each other’s arms or sharing a bed or knowing exactly what ingredients were in their favourite foods and how to make the recipe from scratch. Not that Malark knew any of that. Nope, not him. No matter what Brio and the others thought, he and Paddy had totally never—

He knew something was wrong when Paddy yelped in pain.

“Ah, fu—uudge nuggets!” The wood elf sucked on one of his fingers, stumbling back from the cookies and dropping the knife in the sink where it couldn’t hurt anyone. Well, anyone else, really.

“Everything okay?” Malark asked, ignoring his exile to go to Paddy’s side. “Hey, let me see it.”

Paddy shook his head, finger still in his mouth, until Malark gently took his wrist. When Paddy allowed him to pull his finger away, Malark got a good look at a painful-looking cut. It wasn’t too bad—it wouldn’t need stitches, at least—but it clearly hurt. “I was trying to cut them into little squares so they were easier to put on the sheet. Now there’s blood all over them.”

Malark glanced at the cookies. They seemed fine—the only thing that had blood on it other than Paddy was the offending knife itself. “Don’t worry about that, come over here.” Guiding his boyfrie—guiding _Paddy_ over to the dining room table (they were renting a house together like perfectly normal companions), he sat him down and then fetched the first aid kit. While treating the injury, which wasn’t as bad as he originally thought, he noticed Paddy glancing at the oven repeatedly. “Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I blew up a kitchen?”

“Which time?”

“The time it was an accident.”

“No, you haven’t—wait, you blew up a kitchen on _accident_?!”

“Yes. Do you want to hear it?” Paddy nodded. “So, I was holding a block of cheese in my hand, being an idiot because there was a perfectly good cutting board like two feet away. Anyways, I sliced my finger. So I yelped and put the cheese down, and I turned to find the first aid kit. Only, I turned the oven on, but I didn’t realise it at first.” He kept talking, noticing Paddy brighten up a little and even laugh a couple times. “So the oven was on fire, the dog was choking on the cheese, and I’ve cut my finger cutting said cheese and everyone is staring at the disaster. And I—”

There was a knock on the window, and they turned to see Brio there. “I smell cookies!” She announced, adding, “Are they done yet?”

“Brio!” Several hushed voices yelped outside, and Malark turned to Paddy.

“How about we go put them in, huh?”

**Author's Note:**

> I keep writing ‘distaster’ instead of ‘disaster’ and it’s starting to get to me because I can spell euphemism and pneumonia and philanthropy without getting them wrong but put disaster in front of me and suddenly I think it can taste.   
> Anyways, I have all the ideas for the other HHLR fics I’m doing this week, and while writing the days on the other one it looks like I wrote ‘MonGay’ instead of ‘Monday’. Not that it’s wrong, exactly, because this is pretty gay (even if Malark is pulling an Adrien Agreste but to a higher level). Also, I don’t know when Paddy and Malark started dating in this but this wasn’t where I was at when I wrote it this morning.  
> My dad cut his finger cutting the cheese, which is where the idea of Malark cutting his finger came from. However, my dad didn’t blow up a kitchen…as far as I know, I wasn’t alive back then. We also had an Akita that ate our lawnmower and currently have a neurotic Boxer that twerks when happy, so it’s not like our family isn’t odd.  
> Anyways, into the fray we go!


End file.
